[jessieweigner]

I am planning a 10 year vow renewal. Our first wedding ended abruptly at our reception with a family fued and I have always been depressed about it. Also, we didnt have a lot of money to have the kind of wedding we really wanted, but now we do. We want to have a Civil War themed anniversary party with a vow renewal ceremony. I wanted to do pretty much everything like a wedding except for different type vow, and there would be reception differences. Is it ok to do it that way? I wanted to have attendants like bridesmaids and groomsmen but maybe call them something different. i wouldn't state that gifts weren't needed. We just want to celebrate the reception and beautiful ceremony that we didnt get to have. I would appreciate any advice.

thanks

confused in PA

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Confused,

Please don't plan it to appear as a wedding. This is viewed negatively. Attendants will create this impression, as would a wedding dress. The vow renewal can be very special because it doesn't and isn't supposed to include elements of the wedding. Your friends can play a part. But, they shouldn't be dressed as anything besides guests.

And, you are correct that gifts are not expected.

Please read more about vow renewal etiquette.