[kra2001]

I am planning a surprise renewal for my husband in a few weeks. What would be a good way to word the invitations? I am only inviting family & close friends. I do not want my husband to know until right before. We are leaving for our "2nd honeymoon" the very next morning after this ceremony. What type of vows should we do? Since this is a surprise for him, I can't have him writing vows. Should I just have the preacher have us repeat certain vows?

[the_admin]

Although your surprise idea is very sweet, in theory, I caution you against it for many reasons.

1. What if your husband does not want to exchange these vows or he doesn't wish to do it in public? That would be a surprise for you which I don't think will be a pleasant one. Many people are private about these things.

2. As you mentioned, the vows are THE ceremony. It's possible your husband would be disappointed that he wasn't afforded the opportunity to write special vows for you.

Since this is a ceremony for the couple it really is best for the couple to pan together. If you do decide to go ahead with the surprise I would do a lot of questioning of your husband to feel him out about how he may or may not like this idea.

Just my opinion and something you may not have considered.

[RevSusanna]

Yes! The preacher can give you vows which you can repeat after him. I do have a suggestion though. As this is all the most wonderful surprise for your husband (an amazing gift really), why not write him a declaration of love (a personal statement from you as to your feelings about him, your marriage and the meaning of this vow renewal) BEFORE your preacher gives you your vows. It will mean a lot to him, get everyone teary, and it sets up the vows most beautifully---especially for your husband.

Blessings!

Rev. Susanna