[readygo]

[unsure] Now I see why Catholics prefer to drive up to Reno or Vegas and get married there.... whether it's their first or not...

I'm a Catholic engaged to a divorced Baptist. This is my first mariage. In order to get married in a Catholic church, he would have to go through the Tribunal process - a long procedure as I have been informed that takes as much as a year [pirate]

I didn't realize that in order for the Catholic church to marry us, he would have to get an annulment through the Catholic Diocese. He's not even Catholic and he was never married in a Catholic church but he still needs to go through a "long form" process.

Does anyone know if we are going through the correct procedure because I believe we are not. It surely doesn't make sense for him to go through such strict Catholic rules when he's not even catholic... and he has no intentions to convert --- grrrr!!! [mad]

[Deacon Bob]

You are going through the correct procedure. It has nothing to do with whether or not you are Catholic. If you are being married in a Catholic church and had a previous marriage that the church would recognize that marriage has to be annulled before you can be married again. I know it is a long process but it is what the Roman Catholic church requires. Best wishes and God Bless, Bob

[startingover]

I understand your frustration and empathize. Before I could marry Denny, a Catholic, I had to get my first (disastrous) marriage annulled--and, like your fiance, I'm not Catholic either. At first, I was furious that I was required to come under the canon law of the Church, but I went through the long and painful process of annulment for Denny's sake. It was purely an act of sacrificial love and it's made our marriage stronger.

While answering the annulment questions, I was able to take a good, long look at my former marriage and I could see there were problems right from the very beginning that were never dealt with and never solved. Knowing this has helped us build a better marriage and be more aware of the "baggage" we both bring to any relationship.

When people marry, they're getting a "package deal." They get each other and everything else connected. In your case, this includes the Catholic Church. [] The Church has high standards for its members and, in order to protect you from committing a sin, the Church must determine that both of you are truly free to wed. Thus--the annulment.

Talk to your priest and tell him your feelings. Also, there is an entire chapter for non-Catholics in our book which may help you both to understand why the Church requires annulment from non-Catholics. This may avoid future frustration for you. God bless you both.

[Vee]

How long did your anulment take?

[startingover]

Our annulment took about six months. There are several factors involved in how long an annulment takes. My first marriage lasted less than a year and there were no children. We were both non-Catholic and my former husband was diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic. We never developed that "oneness" of teamwork. He played mind games and I was subjected to much verbal and emotional abuse. So there were definite problems from the very beginning. It was so obvious that my first marriage was not sacramental in nature, that the forms went through fairly quickly.

I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to take the annulment questions seriously. I learned a great deal about myself and am a much better person, stronger in my faith in a loving and gracious God, and wiser in my present marriage. An annulment is not something to just breeze through without giving it much thought. With the right attitude, it can be a worthwhile guide to avoid repeating mistakes in future relationships.

God bless you and lead you.

Kay Flowers

[the_admin]

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