[Christy]

My husband and I have been married for 17 years this March 4th . We are planning a simple Vow renewal with family and some friends invited. I am planning a get together with a local restraunt after the ceremony and am having trouble stating on the invitations that my plans are to provide only cake and ice cream to all. I am not planning on buying dinner and drinks for everyone. Is that rude? It is only a renewal of our vows not a actual wedding. (My husband and I are paying for the parents, but no one needs to know that.) What I have so far is something like... please join us after the ceremony, seats will be saved for you at ?????? We will provide cake and ice cream for everyone after their dinner.

How do I word that? Is that even proper to expect everyone to celebrate with us but pay for their own meal?

Thanks

[the_admin]

No Christy, I'm sorry but when you invite - you pay. The reason you're finiding it difficult to word your invitation is because it isn;t proper. Just imagine if you were on the receiving end of that invitation. It would translate something like this: "Hey, come on over and join us for a celebration but oh, we cannot afford to pay for your dinner, only dessert". See what I mean? Sounds like less than a gracious offer.

Please host the type of reception you and your husband can afford. Perhaps you could pare down the guest list or have everyone back to your home afterwards. The party doesn't have to be laish but you won't want to ask your guests to pay for anything.

[Christy]

Ok, I talked it over with my husband last night and we have decided that we will just put at the bottom of the invite "Please stay and join us for cake and ice cream immediately after the ceremony" I only plan on about 30 people to come to the ceremony is that ok to just have a casual sit down for cake and ice cream after in the Church? Then in just our parents invitations we are going to include a small envelope about dinner plans for later that evening.

[the_admin]

Sure, that is fine. many people have a simple cake and punch or cake and champagne reception immediately following. Enjoy!

[Christy]

Thank You , I feel better about this already! []

[the_admin]

Great! Be sure to visit our pages on renewing wedding vows and vow renewal etiquette from the left side navigation for more information about renewals.