[Tallbright]

We are getting married on a Saturday and we don't have a rehearsal dinner planned. Almost all of our guests will be from out of town and we want to spend time with them on Friday night, and even on Thursday night, all at once for the most part. If we want to go out to dinner (about 50 people), who pays for it? How can we politely ask everyone to pay for themselves?

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Who Pays,

There is no polite way to ask this because it isn't polite to ask guests to pay. A host hosts. A host never asks for money to do so. So, only plan the event you can afford to host.

Best wishes,

[the_admin]

Have you considered having your guests to your home (or the home of a nearby family member or friend) for an informal buffet? These can be done fairly inexpensively. You can either have it catered or maybe do a potluck supper asking just close family if they would like to bring a dish.