[jswan]

Hi,

Hopefully someone has a good suggestion. I hyphenated my name in my first marriage and professionally I am known by my exhusband's name. I'd like to take my fiance's name, but there is a higher ranking woman in my office that has the name I would have, both first and last. It doesn't seem right to be hyphenated with my former husband's name and my new husband's and no one knows me by by maiden name, even though I used the hyphen.

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Name Problems,

It is common for women to keep their former husband's name and hyphenate with their new husband's name, dropping their maiden name when the woman is known by her former husband's name professionally. But, you are uncomfortable with this. I probably would be also.

Another choice would be for both of you to change your names to something else entirely. Or, you could drop your current last name and use your middle name and future husband's last name. This would distinguish you from the other woman in your workplace.

Best wishes,