[Tracey]

Is this a vow renewal of a 2nd wedding?

I am remarrying my ex. We divorced in 2003 but lived together through the divorce and he just moved out earlier this year. This was amicable after the divorce for our childrens sake and we still love each other. Then we have been seeing each other and realize the divorce was a mistake and now we think it may be time to get remarried. Can we get married civilly now and have a wedding later as a vow renewal? And can the vow renewal include the total number of years we have been married originally? We got married 10/10/98 and wanted to do a vow renewal for 10/10/2008. Is this possible even though only a few knew we were divorced and still living together? Is this possible? Please let me know ASAP. Thanks

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Second Try,

If you have a vow renewal, it would be for this marriage, not the last one. You are divorced, so that marriage is dissolved. It doesn't matter how many people know about the divorce. Those years cannot be added to this one. The vow renewal is more symbolic than anything else, so it really should be based on what is happening in your life at the time of the renewal, not on past relationships.

You can have a vow renewal in the future, but it wouldn't be a wedding. So, why not just have the wedding you wish to have instead of getting married civily and then having a vow renewal? There is no way to know for sure how you will feel or what you will want in 08.

Best wishes,

[Tracey]

Thank you very much. I will just consider this our new beginning and leave the last marriage for the past. I really appreciate your help.



Tracey

[Etiquette Now]

Any time.

Congratulations on your new beginning.