[ncknapp]

When I was 17, I found out I was pregnant, and not really thinking about what would be the best option was married at that age. I was married in a Lutheran church, but am Catholic. I tried to work through many immaturity issues with my now ex-husband. After 5 year of controlling, double standards and possible affairs (none confirmed by him), I just could not do it anymore. I split with him after almost 5 years, with 2 children, no friends and little family support. I have now met a man who is also Catholic and divorced. He was married in the courts, and found his wife was having an affair (She confirmed this). We are planning to get married when money allows, but have had our hearts set on a Catholic wedding. What are the chances this would be possible?

[Deacon Bob]

I am correct to assume you soon to be husband was married in a civil ceremony? If so, he probably would not need an annulment but I would check with the local Catholic parish to make sure of this. While it should not be required some parishes will say it is and if they say so and you want to get married there then he needs to get the annulment. You will need an annulment. You had a Chrisitan wedding and the Catholic church will recognize it as a valid marriage. From the background you gave both of you should be able to get annulments without much problem. You just need to plan ahead. So I would get moving on that if that is the way you want to go. Good luck and God Bless.

[Frieda Arpoika]

Your chances for a Catholic marriage are very good. As baptized Catholics you both were bound by canon law to marry in the Church in order to be validly married in the eyes of the Church. Since neither of you did that, your previous marriages are considered "lacking canonical form". There is a simple application form for a declaration of nullity in your case, based on your simply documenting that you were baptized Catholic but your marriage was not recorded in the Catholic Church. Parishes call this application "Lack of Form" applications. You'll need to call you parishes of baptism for a newly issued baptismal certificate - with "notations" (they know what that means; it means that they need to be sure to include a statement whether there are any notations on marriage in your baptismal record). Then make an appointment with a priest, deacon or authorized lay person in your parish, and bring the newly issued baptismal certificates as well as copies of your marriage and divorce papers and you can complete the application right there.
Be sure to contact your parish to arrange for all this in advance. God bless!

[startingover]

Excellent advice from Deacon Bob and Frieda. Since you and your fiance have experienced heartbreak in your previous marriages, it would be wise to deal with the "baggage" and emotional scars of these relationships before heading into a new marriage. The Catholic Church has several valuable programs, such as Cana II and Engagement Encounter weekends, which you may find beneficial. You may also want to talk with your priest, who may be able to guide you into healing through a stronger faith in a God who loves you and cares about every detail of your lives. Congratulations on having the courage to love again.