[monisan]

My husband and I eloped, so for our fifth anniversary we'd like to reaffirm our marriage and hold a reception afterward, to give ourselves, our families and friends the sorely missed opportunity to witness and celebrate our union.

So now what? After reviewing the vow renewal etiquette page, I realize that many of the things done in an initial marriage ceremony are not appropriate for a renewal ceremony. So, my questions are as follows:

-- What are our options for proceeding to the altar?
-- How can our daughter be included (we won't be getting new rings)?
-- How can our mothers be included?
-- Can we light a unity candle?
-- What role does the officiant play?
-- If there is an officiant, do we have to apply for a wedding license in NY (we married in FL originally)?
-- I have not changed my last name, how should we word out invitations (we will be hosting the event)?

Sorry for the long post, but there are many things to consider! (and I'm sure I've forgotten some questions!)
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[Etiquette Now]

Dear Vow Renewal,

What are our options for proceeding to the altar?

You could walk down the aisle with your husband or daughter. Or, all of you could walk together. You two could walk in from the sides of the room toward the alter.

How can our daughter be included (we won't be getting new rings)?

She could walk with you, stand with you, light a candle with you, or read a poem. There are many ways she can participate.

How can our mothers be included?

This ceremony is more about celebrating your marriage and renewing your commitment toward each other. It isn't so much about your parents supporting your decision to marry as it is in a wedding. However, you could thank them for their support during the ceremony. You could also have a special dance for them at your reception. Vow renewal receptions are flexible. You don't have the traditional dances, so you can create new ones.

Can we light a unity candle?

Yes. This could be a candle lighting demonstrating your love and commitment moving forward by lighting it with your daughter.

family unity candle

If there is an officiant, do we have to apply for a wedding license in NY (we married in FL originally)?

A marriage license is a legal document. You don't need one for a vow renewal. You are already married. Your officiant could be anyone. In fact, even your mother could officiate. It is just someone to keep the ceremony organized.

I have not changed my last name, how should we word out invitations (we will be hosting the event)?

You will just list your names at the top, inviting your guests to a wedding vow renewal or a reaffirmation of your vows. It doesn't matter about the different names. The title of the event explains everything.

More Vow Renewal Information

Best wishes,

[monisan]

Well thank you kindly!

[Etiquette Now]

You are entirely welcome.