[Lisa W]

My husband and I are planning to renew our wedding vows on our 6th wedding anniversary (this is when I have discovered our anniversary falls on a Saturday, again) in a Catholic church. Originally we were married in Cabo with a small group of people (approx 30). The only family members of mine there were my mother and father and our 2 1/2 year old son. His entire family made it. Don't get me wrong it was a beautiful ceremony on the beach and a wonderful gathering afterwards. I just felt a little bad that more of my family couldn't attend (due to previous engagements and mostly financial reasons).

Both my husband and I are Catholic and have not been married in a Catholic church. And after a horrendous year ( I lost my mother -at age 56, my paternal grandmother, my maternal grandfather, and my favorite dog of 12 1/2 years all in an 8 month period. Thus creating some hardship in our marriage) we feel it would be a good thing to start over and renew our vows. And since we weren't married in a Catholic church we are not viewed as married in the eyes of God.

My question is how much room do we have as far as a big gathering with a big reception assuming finances allow at that time?

How fancy can we get without it looking tacky? Bear in mind we are absolutely not looking for or expecting any gifts just a wonderful occasion to share with our loved ones we have left and to do this the right way.

Any advice or suggestions are welcome and will be taken into deep consideration.

Thank you,

Lisa W.

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Horrendous Year,

There is an article about vow renewal etiquette on page http://www.gettingre..._etiquette.html You will find answers to all of your questions there--hopefully.

However, I can tell you now that your party can be a very nice, big affair. This is considered more of an anniversary party. So there are a few differences in this party and the wedding reception.

The vow renewal is not considered a gift giving situation--no worries.

Check out that page and if you have any questions after reading it, let me know.

Best wishes,