[sonia]

My fiance is divorced after his first marriage ended about a month after their wedding due to her cheating. They had a large lavish wedding, she was in her mid 20s he was in his late 20's. He's in his mid 30s now and I am 30. He was thinking about eloping and while it's a great idea, it makes me feel even more like the second wife, getting seconds on everything. I understand the pain and embarrassment of what he went through, but I don't see why we have to have a drive through ceremony. I would like to wear a white dress and feel a little special. Am I just not thinking for the best?
thank you

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Seconds,

You are not asking for too much. He has an understandable aversion to another large wedding, but you deserve to have what you want also. This really has to be the wedding that both of you want. This is the first of many compromises the two of you will have to contend with in your lives together. So, it is important to learn how to do this properly. Perhaps it is best to talk to someone, such as a counselor about this.

Best wishes,

[the_admin]

Talking should be your "word of the day"! Sit down and let all of your feelings out, then allow your fiance to let his feelings out too. Tell him what you want and why you want it and then allow him to do the same. You should be able to make compromised and allow each other to get some of things you want. Choose the issues that are most meaningful.

Good Luck.