[usuper2]

Hello,

My question is pretty much the same as everyone else but I would like a personalized answer since this is new to me. We first got married by the Justic of the Peace in Jan. 2000 and in June 2000 we had our twin boys. Needless to say that it has been hectic but we actually set a date for a church wedding in 2007. But now what do we do? Can we have a bridal shower since I never had one? Can my father walk me down or should our boys? What about the dress? I am really excited about an actual wedding but now these questions are popping up in my head. Can anyone help answer them or at least tell me where to find the answers? [unsure]

Thanks,

Kelly

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Setting a Date,

You are actually planning a reaffirmation or renewal of your vows. Depending on your religion this may be called something different, but it is basically the same. You are already married, so you are reaffirming your vows to each other in church.

A bridal shower is an optional event and only meant to shower the bride with items she will need for her new home and to help the friends and family of the bride feel as if they are a part of the wedding planning process. Sure, encore brides may have showers hosted for them because they are beginning a new home. You are already married. If someone wanted to host a shower, it would be best to say no. It is just is not proper.

Because you are already married, it would be best for your children to walk you down the aisle rather than your father. He has already given his blessings once--even though it was a civil ceremony.

Other than that, you can have the ceremony, white dress, and reception. There are just traditions that you may want to skip because the party is considered more of a anniversary party. So, the dances would not be the same. A garter and bouquet toss are unnecessary as is the wedding cake. You will probably want a cake, but it should be more along the lines of an anniversary cake. You are celebrating all of the years you have been together and the years you will spend together in the future. So, this is the focus.

There are many books that contain information about this. The Bride's Book of Etiquette is just one.

Best wishes and congratulations!

[Deacon Bob]

Was your first wedding a large ceremony or just in the courthouse? No matter the answer, I feel if anyone walks you down the aisle it should be your Dad. If your boys were older I would consider that an option if you had a big wedding the first time and Dad walked you then. I think 7 is too young to take on that task. They are better as ring bearers at that age. If it was a small ceremony at the courthouse and Dad did not walk you down the aisle please let him do it this time. That is an honor a Dad should not be denied.

I would tone down the ceremony and reception. It is best to do it on an anniversary. This way you know which day to celebrate in the years ahead and it is easier for people to understand what is going on. Best wishes, God Bless.