[jpmccarthy]

I am a widower, having been married in a Catholic church and practice my religion. I met a lady who once was married in a civil cermony and divorced this husband for adultry; married a second time in a Lutheran church followed by divorce for incompatiblity. She claims to never having been baptized.



Will I be permitted to remarry this woman in a Catholic Church by a priest. If not, why must we do to accomplish a marriage in a Catholic Church.



I look forrward to your replly. Thank you.



jpmccarthy

[Deacon Bob]

This question is chock full of issues. From what I understand you have been married only once and was widowed. Therefore, you certainly do not have any impediments on your end. However, there are several issues on the part of this lady that you are considering marrying. Before we get to the issues you asked about there are several red flags worth discussing. First, she has been twice divorced. I do not know the length of the marriages or her age. However, I always suggest to tread lightly when you are dealing with someone who has had multiple failed marriages. Second, I am concerned about your comment, "She claims to never having been baptized." That signals to me a trust issue. I would strongly suggest that you go through pre marital counseling prior to making any serious preparations.

Normally, a civil marriage that ended in divorce would not be an impediment to marriage. However, I have recently heard of a Priest refusing such a marriage in his church because of the divorce without an annulment. So please, check with your local Pastor and make sure you are both "beating from the same drum" on that issue. The marriage in the Lutheran Church is a Christain marriage and I believe an annulment would be required. If she was never Baptized -- is she willing to be initiated into the Church? If not, it seems like your religion is important to you and you have to consider how comfortable you are with that. The Pastor may not be willing to officiate a marriage of someone who has never been Baptized. The Church is now very welcoming of other Christians, but someone who has not accepted Christianity does raise concerns. She may well be required to complete a RICA program. I would strongly suggest you speak to the Pastor of your parish about these very important issues. Good Luck and God Bless.

[jpmccarthy]

I wish to thank you for your prompt response to my question regarding a practicing Catholic widower marrying a twice-divorced, one civil and one Lutheran cermony, and stating she was never baptized. And while I have no reason to doubt her not being baptized, I failed to inform you that she was first married for about eleven years,in her early thirities, and remarried several years thereafter, which marriage lasted not quite two years. She has remained unmarried for the past thirteen years, give or take a year. She is now 56 years old and I am 68. I was previiously married to that one wonderful lady for 35 years. However, your suggestion of pre marital counseling is most worthy of consideration. I am not quite sure by providing this additonal information it changes my situation nor your advice.



However, I will indeed take your advice in total. I very much appreciate your reply. A marriage for me at age 68 is something that is not exactly an every-day event. Should you again reply, I would much appreciate your advice. Thanks once again. John