[3rdTimesacharm]

I am about to marry the man of my dreams. Among so many reasons why he's the man of my dreams, is his inclusion of my daughter in this process of preparing to be a family. She is a precocious 8-year old who dearly loves him, is embracing this marriage and is so excited that he's going to be her step-dad. We have dated long distance for nearly 3 years and now we want to be a family. We're currently looking at rings and he suggested getting her a ring also and presenting it in a manner of 'it's a marriage of three'. All of our attendants are children including her (except the Matron of Honor and Best Man). Are we over doing it? If not, what would be a good, appropriate way to present her with this?

[the_admin]

Dear 3rd times a charm:

The sentiment is wonderfully sweet but the actual ring may send a wrong message that your daughter is somehow on your same level with this man in terms of relationship. You may want to choose something different for her so that she sees that, although her relationship with her new stepdad is really special, it is a relationship between an adult and child and very different from the a man and woman relationship you have with your fiance.



New Beginnings Necklace


Three heart charms hanging from a sterling silver chain symbolize
husband, wife, and children of the new blended family of a second
marriage. Carried on the ringbearer's pillow and given to the children
during the ceremony, make them a very special part of the new union.

More gifts for the children in your wedding party.

Best of luck to the three of you.

[Deacon Bob]

It is wonderful that your fiance' and daughter are excited about becoming a family. I have a wonderful relationship with my step son. I do agree that the ring could send the wrong message but there are many ways to include her in the ceremony. It is possible for some special vows where she will accept your new husband as a member of the family and her step father. Your new husband can accept the responsibility for raising your daughter as his own.

The three of you could light the Unity Candle together (if you are going to have one).

The imagination is your only limitation on what you can do to include your daughter in this important day. I always remind couples that a marriage not only unites two individuals but two families as well.

Best of luck to the three of you and I only hope that your daughter and her step father have as a rewarding and loving relationship as I have with my step son. God Bless.