[hkpep]

Hi, my fiance and I are having a very small civil ceremony in LV next week. We have informed everyone we are doing this because we did not want to have it hidden from those we love, and we also did not want them thinking we are living together. We have set a date for the large wedding in September, and everyone knows this. The issue we have been facing is this: we need the vows for the September ceremony to sound like we are renewing them, as my parents are quite upset we are having two ceremonies. If we have it sound like we are renewing them, then they MIGHT watch the video later (they refuse to come to either ceremony due to the fact there will be two). What can we do to change the vows for the larger ceremony so they sound beautiful but so that it is evident this is not the first time we have said them. I have absolutely no ideas on the proper etiquette for this.

[RevSusanna]

These are matters of the heart! You can begin your vows by stating something to the following effect:

On (day of first wedding ) I took you as my wife, and today before beloved family and friends, we renew our pledge of life long love....

Or as I wrote in an article on this website on page: http://www.gettingre...dding_vows.html

Writing your own vows would be most appropriate as well. Try the following to help you with the writing of your personalized wedding vows:

Go through a book of vows and jot down all the words and phrases you like on a piece of paper.

Answer these questions:

How do I love my wife/husband? How has our love grown over the years?
How has my husband/wife made me a better person?

For what am I most grateful to my wife/husband? What is my pledge to him/her for the future?
Equipped with the research and their answers, a couple is often better able to express what is in their heart. Remember that love brings even the most reticent tongue to verse! Some of the most beautiful vows I have heard come from those who have never written before.

If you do your research in books also mentioned in this article, you can then edit and tweak existing vows until they express what is in your heart.

I will say a prayer that your parents' hearts will be filled with love, openness, compassion and joy. Otherwise, they would be missing out on so much.

Blessings!

Rev. Susanna Stefanachi Macomb

www.susannamacomb.com