Second Wedding Ceremonies and Vows
Remarriage: Getting Started
So you’re getting remarried. You know what that means, it is time to make things a little more exciting and do things different the second time around. Parents forced you to have a massive wedding the first time, go small and intimate. Eloped and never got your fancy day, go big and pull out all stops. Got kids, make this a family event and get them involved. Second weddings are just as much fun as first weddings, so have some fun and enjoy the ride.
A few key things to know:
- Get your kids involved: If you have children, involve them in the ceremony. You are bringing two families together so it is important to get things off to the right start. There are lots of ways to get them involved, including letting them be flower girls or ring bearers. You can also let them usher or have a formal family medallion ceremony or unity candle ceremony. Reassure your children that their presence will be appreciated regardless of their roles on the big day. As a nice gesture, seat them at your table during the reception.
- Second Wedding Invitations: If you’re planning a formal wedding, fancy wedding invitations are the way to go, just like a first time wedding. A lot of second time marriage ceremonies are lower key events, so for this you should consider a DIY wedding invitation or buying from awesome online invitations companies and customize yourself.
- Engagements Second Time Around: The very first people you should tell about the upcoming wedding are the children either of you have from previous marriages. You should also let you ex-spouse know as a gesture of good faith. Then it is up to you to let your family and friends know just a like a regular engagement.
- Register for Gifts: It is your second marriage so you probably already have all the household stuff you could ever need. Most of the time we suggest you skip the registry. Instead, arrange for guests to make donations to a favorite charity in lieu of wedding gifts.
- Second Wedding Dress: Have some fun. The good news is that the old rule about not wearing white for a second wedding has gone out the window. If you went traditional for your first wedding, maybe your should go for a vintage wedding dress. If you had a courthouse marriage with a simple dress, go all out and get your white ballgown. Good second wedding etiquette means skippig the veil, that’s something most second time brides don’t know.
- Flowers, Photography & Music, Like a First Wedding: This is your wedding, first time or second doesn’t matter. Book the vendors your want and be as simple or as extravagent as you want. Match the vendors and solutions to your style and budget and you can’t go wrong.
- The Honeymoon: A Family Moon, where you include your children or even go one step further and make it a destination second wedding are a great way to celebrate. If your children are old enough to stay home alone, go for that island adventure by yourselves, but fair warning, if you have children and they’re feeling anxious, a honeymoon alone can hurt their feelings.
- Bridal Showers for a Second Wedding: For the same reason that wedding gifts aren’t always given, bridal showers for a second-time bride are not always thrown. This is really a persona choice and often your friends will decide whether or not to throw one for you. Focus on finding something unique and fun to do.
- Involving Children in a Second Wedding: Yes, we know this is listed a second time. It is really really important. f you have children, you should make them a special part of your second wedding. Perhaps they would like to read something during the ceremony, or make a special toast during the reception. A popular second wedding trend is to speak a family vow to the children after the bride and groom’s vows. The Family Medallion ceremony invites them to participate in the ceremony, signifying the creation of a new family. It involves a small medallion or piece of jewelry, saying something like “Take this as a symbol of our family, and our love for you.” Other couples instead will simply ask their officiant to bless them and declare them one united family. The unity candle ceremony and other unity ceremonies are perfect for second weddings as well.